Not to be sexist but truth hurts...
Watching female sports for the most part is just pure pain. It takes special people to sit through most athletic events featuring women. But, I am looking down the barrel of female sports for the foreseeable future with the arrival of my daughter.
I started mentally preparing myself for this monster challenge a few months ago and am absolutely no where close to being ready for this immense challenge. My anxiety is already sky high knowing how paralyzing my frustration will be.
That being said, I wanted to list the official power ranking for males for viewing female sports. I need to take into consideration the difference in viewing the individual sports at the highest level and the average high school level.
Basketball:
Female hoops is by far the WORST viewing experience at any level for the male species. I simply hate it. It is easily the most drastic difference in Males vs Females for any sport. Female hoops players look like they are playing with cement in their shoes. You are in serious trouble when a reverse layup is the most exciting play in your sport.
Fix:
Simple. Lower the hoops to 8 feet and let the alley oops commence. Also all girls hoops games under the age of high school should just be sudden death. First hoop wins. Boom. Saved that sport in a couple sentences. Pure genius.
Bonus Fix Option:
Just Cancel Girls hoops all together. Another solid option. Girls even hate the sport.
Bonus Hate:
I hate Geno Auriemma. He might be in my top 3 most hated sports figures of all time. The reason my hate isn't higher is I simply forget he exists until around December every year and it obviously peeks when he wins the national championship by 48 points every year and then goes on to say how big of a challenge it was to win and how men's basketball stinks. (Run on sentence game is on LOCK)
Geno is the kinda smart kid in class that only takes standard level classes but insists to tell everyone how smart he is dominating the gold star stickers with his short bus pals. The fact he has no desire to prove his coaching prowess on the men's sides might be the biggest pussiest move in the history of manhood.
Softball:
This one is a super tricky sport to view for us men. Adolescent softball easily rivals female hoops. At least hoops has a clock to end the chaos. A girls softball inning could last a lifetime and nothing is worse when all the parents are screaming where the girls should throw the ball. I still have nightmares and wake up in a cold sweat thinking of watching my sister attempt to play softball. Just writing that sentence made me shake.
But, College level softball ain't that bad. I sat and watched 4 innings of one of the women's college softball world series game and it was pretty damn good. Swinging bunts are the worst but the pitchers are legit as fuck. I spent 20 minutes internally debating if I could hit any of these pitchers (No Chance). So, that made me respect the sport.
Fix:
Only drastic change I would infused into the sport would be to outlaw visors and make them wear legit hats. Also make the infields grass. Dirt looks poor but I get why they do it. I'm a big visual guy and need my HD looking crisp and not dirty.
Golf:
Women's golf doesn't move the needle because the sport seems so much more reserved than the men's side if that makes sense. But…But…But… This is bar FAR the closest of the the two sports. A girl could easily be better than a guy from an average athlete perspective. Girls seems to have on average a better tempo swing and a lot better demeanor on the course. The only that kinda sucks about the sport on the pro level is the best players in the world are not Americans and they are boring.
Fix:
I would create fake controversy. I would probably leak a horrendous rumor that lit a fire of anger under all the girls. Wouldn't hurt if better looking girls played at a higher level as well. Def a sexist statement but look at women's tennis. Tell me that sexuality doesn't move the needle for viewership and I will google search Anna Kournikova right in your face.
Hockey:
Women's hockey is also tricky because its barely on the radar besides the Olympics. But, I am here to defend this sport as probably the 2nd best female sport of all time. For one, there is a clock, which is a huge factor in women's sports. The other factor is the girls play aggressive and its great to watch. The sport is going in the right direction and the fact I can sit through a whole game speaks volumes of a sport that is truly not that old from the female side.
Soccer:
Is EASILY the best sport to watch from a males perspective. The female sport has gotten a TON better in the past decade. It also helps that the USA women's national team is constantly a top tier team in the world. Also, the sport is very watchable from all levels as well. It is played at a very high level and the games are legit exciting. Again - Bonus points for having a clock.
Fix:
Nothing. The sport will continue to progress and get better and better. I would however done a much better job promoting the upcoming World Cup. The world will keep getting better and it will push the sport just like Men's Hoops.
US Men's Team could learn a thing or two from a mentality standpoint from our Women's team.
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