I Almost Felt Bad About this One. Almost.

I kinda want to apologize for hijacking the Padres Social Hour Sunday morning. A friend who may or may not work for the Padres texted me "You made it" in response to my tweet on the show and I honestly didn't know if he was talking about me or the show. 

No more making fun of this program for me for time being. They've trying the best they can just like the boys on the field. I am sorta sorry to the people behind Padres Social Hour.

In all reality, I was probably the only person in San Diego watching Padres Social Hour that wasn't related to the people on the show. I actually felt bad when my question got popped on the screen. Like I had a brief second in which I felt actually bad for trolling this show and these two that are trying their best to somehow talk about the Padres on August 31st. Just a brutal no win situation and they got some Masshole with 3 TV's in his war room chirping them via twitter about their product. Even sadder that who ever was running the control booth didn't have a clue that it was a blatant troll job. 

I think this might be my turning point where I let up on the Padres a tad. Except when they do something INSANELY stupid which could occur at any moment. But, the normal trolling shall pause because I need to focus my attention to football.

P.S.  Still have to have like 5-6 people fired down there before I truly ever support the product. Can't cheer for any business that is so constantly dumb. It truly isn't the roster. It's the mentality of a loser that needs to change and it starts with the suits upstairs. Too many people are OK with being just a team in the MLB and if you challenge the current mentality you get to end up blogging about their stupidity. 

Coach Sark Getting Turnt

Washington Post - On Saturday, Sarkisian appeared to slur his words and used profanity during a pep rally for the team and major donors to the program. ESPN released video showing Sarkisian shouting from the podium, “Get ready to f—— fight on, baby, let’s go!”

“Fight on” is one of the school’s slogans.

On Monday, Sarkisian said his problems Saturday stemmed from mixing alcohol with an undisclosed medication.

- I was so #TeamDrunkSark until this excuse came out of his mouth. I hate weak excuses and this one is such a "go to" one when someone gets loose. People would much more respect if he just said, "My job is stressful as fuck with managing a bunch of large teenagers to play well bc millions of dollars are on the line with how successful our season is and I am going through a shitty divorce so from time to time I get shifted drunk. Deal with it."

          *Probably have colleges offering me PR jobs by sundown now*

- I also throw a ton of blame on whoever gave Sark the OK to get on stage. Obvi you need to give any idiot a once over and make a speak check before you let a meathead get on stage. Need that intern fired ASAP.

- Sneaky love the blind confidence of Sark saying Oregon/ASU/Notre Dame all suck. Coach Sark is a combine 0 for 9 against those teams. Oregon has outscored Sark 295 to 88.

-  If this happened in the SEC the coach would probably get a raise and a 6 figure sponsorship deal for any of his favorite booze brands.

- The PC police are so out of control these days. I would be more shocked if my D1 coach didn't drop F bombs in public.

- I was blown away when I went to the ASU vs USC game last year. The atmosphere there STINKS. People were sitting on their hands and it was a library. Maybe my boy Sark was trying to show the people how to get a little loose to help create some home field advantage. USC gave up 3 TD's in final 3 minutes. Some could argue that's on their on defensive backs but I would blame the weak crowd just as much. It's on the assholes in the stand to absolutely crush the souls of the opponents when your squad is up by 21.

*If you listen real hard you can hear me laughing my ass off. It was the best Over cover of my life. 27 points in 4 minutes. O/U was 67.5*


- I see this issue and any other issue that arises in August as simply that people are clearly over summer and need the fall football season to start. Men don't know how to function in public when there is no exciting sports on TV. (Baseball gets exciting again in September)

- It honestly feels like the Padres aren't playing baseball anymore. like a tree falling in the forest type of way.

Phillip Rivers New Deal

Business Insider - Heading into training camp and preseason, San Diego Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers was perhaps the most notable quarterback still seeking an extension.

After it seemed like a deal wouldn't get done at all, the two sides suddenly came to an agreement on a four-year, $83.25 million deal.

While that deal may not look as flashy as some quarterback extensions — like Cam Newton's five-year, $103 million deal — it contains a whopping $65 million in guaranteed money.

Also notable, according to ProFootball Talk's Mike Florio, Rivers' base salary is $15 million this season — down from $15.7 million last year. However, he also received a $22.5 million signing bonus, bringing his earnings this year to $37.5 million!

This is huge, because in most of these deals it is the first-year money that is only truly guaranteed with the rest of the guarantee only being tied to a career-ending injury.

In comparison, Russell Wilson's four-year, $88 million extension had $61.5 million in guaranteed money. But besides for Wilson's massive $31 million signing bonus and $700,000 in salary this season, the rest of the deal is basically team options.

Rivers' deal is similar except that he gets more first-year money and more guarantees than any of the five biggest guaranteed contracts agreed to in the last year:

Business Insider

It has taken me a full week to stop shaking my head to be able to blog about this deal. I am in the camp that Rivers is the best option for the Bolts for the next 2 seasons and then its probably time to move on if something doesn't drastically change with the direction of the roster/organization. But, the boys in suits down in Mission Valley just handed out a deal that was IMPOSSIBLE to not take no matter what is going on behind the scenes.

I'm more in the camp that every action an organization should be done to improve your chances to win a title now or by subtraction for the future. Guaranteeing the extra 25 million then what the market would have dictated on the open market is BANANAS. Especially when that extra 25 mill is on top of 16 million this year (2015) along with 40 million that he's actually worth. Rivers wouldn't have come close to this deal on the open market and he knows it. I bet he jumped in his shuttle bus and flew down to the Q to sign this deal. Probably threw a few of his kids out the window to gain speed down the 15.

The thing that numerous people have not picked up on is that this extension starts AFTER this season. That means the contract reads we are paying you GUARANTEED for 4 years of Elite production. That is a giant bet for a guy that has gotten beaten up the last few years and has definitely lost a ton of zip on his ball. Combination of age, health, and HORRIBLE mechanics is a huge bet that Rivers will be productive in 36 months. 

Rivers is a top 10 QB in the NFL albeit the bottom side of the top 10 list but 20 million is the market at hand for the QB position. But for this deal to make any sense Rivers will have to stay at that level for the next 48 months. WOOF.

Rivers agents played their hands Perfectly. They had the perfect storm of PR and negative chargers stadium news to really take it to the Chargers and they walked away with maybe the best contract ever in the NFL for a given player of Rivers capacity/projection. Asking and getting a "no trade" clause accepted must've just been a cherry on top like an elaborate TD dance. No one gets trade clauses in NFL deal bc their basically aren't even trades in the NFL.

The only thing that really backed San Diego into the corner besides the majority of bad PR the organization has received because of the possible relocation is that the Chargers must have a QB to market if they move to LA. LA fans like names and its going to be a dogfight for the Chargers to gain popularity in that market against the other two teams that have resided there previously. The Contract deal is also probably a good sneak behind the curtain stating the Spanos clan doesn't know yet if the potential move will be granted by the NFL in 2016 or 207. This deal guarantees the Chargers have a QB name to market for either year of a relocation to LA.


P.S.  Football contracts stink relatively speaking. That 65 million guarantee is a HUGE win for the most important position in sports that literally only a dozen people in the world can do at a high level is a JOKE. When a guy like Shin-Soo Choo literally makes double this contract playing baseball then you know something doesn't make sense and 2% of sports population know that Shin- Soo Choo even exists.


P.P.S. Really hope all this new cash means my boy Rivers is going to try to have like 20 kids. Don't know why I am now cheering for this but might as well be the best at producing kids in the NFL. Go big or go home.

"You Believe we got a No-Trade clause in that deal?  Ya - We asked for it for shits and giggles and they said sure."

-Phil River (Probably)

***Some local media short bus regulars citing Rivers deserves this contract because of winning a playoff game on a busted knee back in in 2008 is literally the epitome of stupidity. So paying a guy future money because he was gutsy 7 years ago is something that equates in someones brain is some scary scary stuff.***

Ballers Is So Bad That It's Good***

NyPost.com - "Ballers," a creation of the folks that brought you "Entourage," revolves (mostly) around a group of friends who have retired from the NFL (or are still in it). Johnson plays Spencer Strassmore, a retired NFL player who's trying to make a career for himself in money management now that he's out of football.

His boss is a sort of whacked out dude named Joe, played by Rob Corddry (of 'The Daily Show" fame). He only hired him, he says, because of his football connections, and he's still starstruck by current and former players. Corddry is an odd choice for this mostly serious show. His 'comic relief' just feels annoying.

The season premiere mostly revolves around a current player and friend of Strassmore, played by John David Washington, who is trying to find a new place to play football after another in a series of off-the-field screw-ups. Strassmore spends his time trying to help him out, and working to get his post-football money management career off the ground.

But let's get to the heart of the matter. "Ballers" was not that fun to watch and gave me very little reason to come back for episode two. I get that it's a pilot, and the show can evolve, but I don't have a lot of hope.


I wanted this show to be good so bad but it's simply horrible. The shows idea is perfect for idiots like me that will consume anything sports related. But, the story lines and acting are so bad that it might actually be good. In a completely backwards way.

The show is a badly copied blueprint of the HBO show Entourage(Same Executive producers). Entourage scored ratings with flashy stuff and hot girls. Somehow they took that idea and mixed it with sports and it came out bad. Pretty impressive taking that combo and making it bad for their target demo of 18-35. I guess writing matters even for shows targeting idiots like me.

I like The Rock but he's simply not a good fit for this show. He is good at mauling people or shows that have lots of explosions. This show needs to take a page out of the Jerry McGuire book and have assholes like Jay Mohr's character dominate the show.

Solid rumors are are projecting the second season of the show to be picked up by HBO. I would scrap the whole cast because the idea is money but the execution is straight poop. Also the fact that this show isn't actually acknowledged by the NFL makes it cool in my book. Anyone that stands up the NFL and spits in their eye is good by me.

P.S. The fact that the show has an "Inside the Episode" following each show to explain what happened is so fucking scary for our society. Can't let people in China find out that we need cliff notes for a show that has no plot or direction.

P.P.S. Naturally, I watched the entire season because I am a mouth breather and anything football related I feel obligated to consume.

P.P.P.S.  When my wife tells me the show has bad acting and then legitimately thinks shows like Empire are well acted that should be an explosion of red flags in my brain.

Chargers Podcast with "Bigtime" Eddie Quinn

Jumped on the tube and shot a pretty terrible Pod with everyones favorite FanBoy Edwin "Big Time" Quinn. I will come and say this right away that this pod was not very good and ran about 30 mins too long. I completely blame Ed obvi. 

Basically I didn't prep because I thought Ed would drop a quick had to go play golf with (Insert a D list sports celeb) and he wanted to hit up Donovan's bc he needed a sober driver to drive said "Celeb" home.

Also - I was battling the sniffles and basically don't sleep now because I'm an awesome dad. #Warrior #BurbsLife 

*Shot before the Rivers Deal was announced*

Couple real quick comments...


1. Shot out to that apparent gray hair glob behind my right ear. Equal shout out to my Man Edwin's hairline. Poss side bet might have to be made on which situation gets more noticeable faster.

2. Kinda shaky on a lot of stats. I didn't prep because of my sniffles but Ed not knowing Chargers week 1 opponent last year and ravens game outcome is unforgivable. We were real off on Steelers 2014 season.

3. Ed having a roommate and getting married is fucking Crazytown USA. Cant decide who is the bigger lunatic for agreeing to live in that situation. (Going swimming at 10pm on a Friday night is the biggest clue that you live with a serial killer FYI)

4. 32 minute mark camera stayed on Ed a little too long and that smile proves he couldn't believe his own brain believe he said Rivers was elite.

5. 38 minute mark Ed goes from Rothlesberger is a bad QB to he is a good QB in about 15 seconds. I basically put him in the Doherty spin cycle real quick.

6. 28 minute mark Eddie dropped the worst excuse in the history of mankind. Then immediately backed off. Classic San Diego move.

7. If I was a lawyer and Ed was being cross examined it would be ugly for whatever Eddie was trying to say 72% of the time.

Phil Rivers Kids Situation Is Straight Crazytown

My Boy Phil Rivers having his 8th kid is crazy on so many levels that I have gotten dizzy. You know what is crazier than having 8 kids?

Not much.

Having 8 Kids with 6 of them being girls is someone that simply loves pain. Only explanation.

We can all sit and act like this isn't insanity but having more than 4 kids is fucking bananas. I could easily argue more than 2 makes you somewhat insane but everyone make a mistake. If you make that same mistake another 5 times you need to be fitted for jacket.

Financially:

I get it. He is all set in the facet of having a herd of a family. Probably has a gaggle of nannies that do the majority of the work for the Rivers bunch. He probably has a house that can accommodate that size of a family and then some. But, it is still dumb. Each kid goes to college with inflation he is looking at a cool million if they don't get a scholarship.

Football:

I don't want my QB dealing with this circus in his home. I prefer my QB's to be dorks or cocksman who are trying to go the Namath route.

Decision making is what being a good QB is all about. Having 8 kids is a horrendous decision. NO MATTER WHAT.

I like my QB's eating film for breakfast/lunch/dinner. There is zero chance you would have a second of silence or alone time with a gauntlet of kids. Unless you're just a bad dad of course. Which is the play for numerous dads but I think Phil legit loves his pack. I hope he has a separate home that he lives in by himself from August through December. It literally is the only way one could deal with playing the most important and scrutinized position in all of sports with a shit ton of snot nosed kids to deal with.

Logistically:

Going anywhere literally is impossible even if you had a nanny per kid. Kids minds make no sense and you are bound to lose one from just wondering off trying catch a bubble or something retarded.

Side note: I would hire a cowboy wrangler 24/7 to straight herd and lasso the kids if I were Rivers. Would be entertaining as hell.

Mentally:

Dealing with a woman that has been pregnant for 6 years (72 months) is straight insanity. I legit feared for my life every day for 9 months. Emotions swing faster than a cornerback sitting on a Rivers 15 yr out route balloon throw.



P.S. At this point he needs to go for the crown and upstage Antonio Cromartie's kid count.

P.P.S.  To be Fair forgetting kids names is pretty easy. I call my baby Colby(My Dog) all the time. No shot I would know a billion kids names on the spot either.


This is how I envision Phil reciting his kids names...

Such a Southern White Guy move is rhyming all his offspring to help remember. Sorta like a catchy song to remember all the states capitals.

I have zero clue what Rivers kids names are and did zero research to confirm my rhyming theory.