The Definitive East Coast Vs West Coast Debate

East Coast

Vs.

West Coast

The People have spoken and they have demanded a thorough breakdown from a well traveled cultured American on a complete analysis of all important matters determining which coast is in fact the best coast.

Full disclosure the East coast will be considered Boston south to D.C. and the West Coast will be considered Cali. All other parts of either coasts are for weirdos and losers. 

Quick Shout Out to Seattle and Charleston S. Carolina. Both spots make the honorable mention list for areas outside the targeted locations but don't move the needle enough in this vital debate.

Research:

I have lived in and studied both coasts for over a decade each. I am completely neutral. Somewhat.

Without further adieu…

Food

This is probably the most crucial category when it comes down to comparing the coasts. Each side dominates in some areas but the deciding factors have to be some common ground foods. The east coast MOPS the floor with bread products. Pizza, Bagels, and Sandwiches are all a TKO to the east coast. The West coast has Mexican food in a death grip. Burritos in Cali laugh at burritos on the east Coast.

Seafood is a tie. The east coast has amazing fish but the west coast dominates in Sushi and also has great fish as well (Looking at you Mahi Mahi Fish tacos). Also San Fran Clam chowder is in the same realm as Clam chowder in Boston which hurts me to type that.

The deciding factor came down to Chinese food. In an absolute shocker the East coast DOMINATES the west coast in Chinese food. Legitimate blood bath which makes zero sense considered China is 3 Thousand miles closer to Cali. I have yet to find a solid Pu Pu platter in Cali and that makes me sad. Late night food on the east coast is either Pizza or Nasty Chinese food. Chinese food doesn't even enter my brain walking home from a bar out here.

P.S. The Donut scene is not even up for debate. East coast donuts could create world peace.

Winner - East Coast

Weather

Vs.

A common topic of debate is the West Coasts annihilates the East Coast in the weather department. The west coast definitely wins the category overall but Winter is cool for a about 2 weeks. But don't sleep on a crisp fall day in October with a hot adult beverage.

P.S. Ability to play golf everyday is also a huge deciding blow for the west coast decision.  Also shoveling snow for 3 months straight is demoralizing for east coasters.

Winner - West Coast

Women

Vs.

Another category that is also used as a usual pillar to a west coasters argument is the Women angle. This category is MUCH closer than everyone thinks overall but the tip of the cap goes to the west coast. Both sides have their fill of beautiful women. But, the west coast has more "Better than average girls" than the east coast. Which is huge when in large groups. Gotta always have that ratio in your favor.

P.S.  East coast girls are meaner and much harder to approach but also MUCH smarter which you can look at either way as a positive or negative. 

P.P.S.  Google searching "Hot Girls" next to my 8.5 month preggo wife didn't go too well and I doubt she talks to me for the remainder of the day. Blogging life ain't for the faint of heart. #Warrior

Winner - West Coast

Sports

Vs.

This is the biggest blowout in the history of mankind. East Coast could teach a post graduate level course on sports while the west coast are trying to stack sports building blocks but probably need nap time before they get cranky.

I could go on and on but it's a waste of everyones time and if you argue this ruling you're an idiot and need to get out of your house.

Winner - East Coast

Bro's

vs.

This Category is depicting the average bro on each coast deemed by me. Both bro's are sweet and you can never hate on bro's. In my head,  I see east coast bros as dudes rocking a Lax penny and throwing Pong 24/7. I see west coast bros as multiple tats and straight chilling on the beach dudes.

A good Bro is hard to find but both coasts are LOADED with bro's everywhere. Full disclosure I'm pretty partial to east coast bro's because I'm pretty sure I was one back in my single days (AKA My best days). 

But, Cali bro's are hilarious and mad chill. Almost too chill though because east coast bros can be argued as too intense. Tough call on the winner of this category but I have to go with my heart and East Coast bros are much better at sports so they win.

Winner - East Coast

Honorable Mention Categories

The College scene and Beer scene were suggested but both are blowouts. East Coast College scene EMBARRASSES the west coast colleges. There are also a billion more schools on the smarter coast. Beer scene on the west coast is simply obnoxious. There is 7 breweries on every street where hipsters compare beards while slugging down quadruple IPA beers. West coast wins the Beer/Wine scene because of sheer numbers.

East coast also celebrates national holidays much better and the west coasts media is a circus of clowns.

Final Decision

Both coasts are awesome because the USA is the best country in the world. The winner of the most debated debate of all time is the East Coast. They win because they have had about 100 years more time to advance as a society (zero research but it sounds right).

P.S.  If we could create a city with San Diego's weather, Boston's Culture, San Francisco's topography, and New York City's Action/nightlife we could create heaven on earth.