Love This Old Ass Guy

CAMPUS RUSH – An hour before sunrise, the first player pushes open the doors of the locker room and bounds into the bright lights of the stadium. It’s half past six in the morning, and this is South Carolina State’s final full practice before its Homecoming game. For the next 10 minutes, players stream out to a playlist booming from speakers set on top of a laundry bin. Trainers top off water jugs and wheel them to the benches. Cheerleaders wearily sway on the opposite side of the field. The head coach, Buddy Pough, spins in on a bicycle and begins issuing orders to assistants.

Joe Thomas Sr. strides out to join the team. He’s the only player without even a single accessory: no leggings, no wristbands, no gloves, just team-issued blue-and-white striped shorts, his No. 47 jersey and an unadorned helmet. With the pads bulking his chest and the helmet guarding the wisp of grey at the peak of his hairline, he hardly seems 55 years old.

Midway through practice, he slips a yellow scout team sleeve over his helmet and jogs onto the field to rehearse kickoff return coverage. He’s been at this for the better part of four seasons, enduring bleary-eyed predawn practices designed for players 35 years younger and in peak physical condition, with one goal in mind: To get in a game and make history as the oldest man ever to play Division I football. Detractors be damned: Joe was born to a sharecropper and raised a Green Bay Packer. He could barely hear until 17 and still graduated high school. And no one will be able to convince him that he can’t compete until he takes the field and tries for himself. “I believe that if the coaches looked past my age and just let me play football,” he says, “I’d steal someone’s position.“

Age isn’t the only way time that is taunting him: South Carolina State has only two games left this season, and because he’s a senior, he’s running out of opportunities.

I love this dude. He knows what health risks come from playing a little college ball and he certainly doesn't care. He probably as a bunch of soul sucking kids and a nagging wife. He can't wait to just hangout with some guys and crack some skulls.

Also this is the first and last time you will ever hear about this college so its smart on every level. Any PR is good PR I've been told.

P.S. I really hope this old man doesn't die this weekend. That would stink.

P.P.S. I legit believe I could stroll onto any SEC teams facility and become their starting kicker by sundown.

P.P.P.S. I would go 1 bar helmet and be the talk of the town after I smoked my first extra point.

Mike Trout Is Good at Playing Baseball

FiveThirtyEight.com - Los Angeles Angels outfielder Mike Trout is widely acknowledged to be the best player in baseball and has been for quite some time. But for all his gifts, awards recognition has been hard for Trout to come by. Although Trout has led the American League in wins above replacement (WAR) for each of the past five seasons,¹ he had only won MVP honors once going into Thursday night’s award announcement — and victory there was far from assured.

Unlike in the past, though, when Trout’s horrid teammates were held against him in favor of some lesser player on a winning team, the voters broke with tradition and went for the player with stellar individual numbers. In winning the MVP, Trout became just the sixth player from a losing teamto take home the hardware. It was a victory for the new ways of player evaluation and a more modern take on what the “valuable” part of MVP really means.

But even if Trout hadn’t won the award, he could have taken the same solace he could last year: MVP or not, but he’s still tracking to be the G.O.A.T.

WAR THROUGH AGE 20				WAR THROUGH AGE 21
1	Mike Trout	11.4		1	Mike Trout	20.7
2	Mel Ott	11.4		2	Mel Ott	17.9
3	Ty Cobb	9.5		3	Ty Cobb	15.7
4	Bryce Harper	8.9		4	Ken Griffey Jr.	15.5
5	Al Kaline	8.9		5	Al Kaline	15.4
a
WAR THROUGH AGE 22				WAR THROUGH AGE 23
1	Mike Trout	28.6		1	Mike Trout	37.9
2	Ty Cobb	25.5		2	Ty Cobb	36.0
3	Ted Williams	23.6		3	Ted Williams	34.2
4	Mel Ott	23.5		4	Mel Ott	31.4
5	Alex Rodriguez	22.9		5	Ken Griffey Jr.	30.1
a
WAR THROUGH AGE 24
1	Mike Trout	48.5
2	Ty Cobb	46.7
3	Mickey Mantle	40.9
4	Alex Rodriguez	38.0
5	Ken Griffey Jr.	37.0

Mike Trout just won another MVP and he is clearly seen as a top player in the game today. Many argue he is the best player in the game currently. This should even be a discussion. If this cat played in New York or Boston, He would be the biggest name in baseball since Griffey. Even though he plays in the 2nd largest media market, The Angels get forgotten about being the second team in that market and usually not seen by the majority of media located on the east coast because of time zones.

I pray this guy stays healthy because his defense, speed, and game awareness is just as awesome as his craft of hitting a baseball. I had the pleasure to meet this guy pregame when he was in town his rookie year before he blew up. Nicest guy going and I was floored at this build. Guy looked like a Running back when he was warning up in tee shirt and shorts. You could clearly see he was the alpha athlete amongst everyone else warming up that day and he was only 19 years old.

I mentally compare this guy to Griffey a lot. Who knows what Griffey would've done if he had stayed healthy. When Griffey lost his speed it was a tragedy to all baseball fans because we missed out on greatness. Just like Bo Jackson. 

Griffey appeared smoother in every aspect. Running/jumping/Swing(Smoothest Every IMO) and held himself with a new found swagger that was new to the league. (P.S. Him getting full credit for the backwards hat is something that we need to address in the future)

Trout does everything that Griffey did but in a explosive manner that isn't always smooth. But, he has been a better player through age 25 IMO and is built to last longer than Griffey but time will only tell.

I will say he is one of the few athletes in SoCal that I will go out of my way to go see in person because TV doesn't do this guy justice.

My Baby & Baby Doctor Just Dunked on Me

So today was the big day when my crew was supposed to find out the newest member of our family's gender. Today was supposed to be the day when I found out a HUGE factor in the rest of my life.

The whole idea of finding out your kids gender is such a mind game that's something that dominants your brain. You think about it a ton leading up to the day of reveal and then you start dealing with the news until the day the thing comes out to party.

Your boy (Me) is awesome at letting his brain dominant his life. Therefore, I basically let this new baby news and idea of adding another one to the crew to overtake my brain. When I try to shut it down at night is the worst because that's when my brain decides to really get going.

The night before the reveal date is the worst. Stayed up all night thinking of both possible outcomes. To be 100% honest, I want a boy. I already have a girl and always wanted 2 kids. I want to be able to experience raising a boy and seeing what that's all about. The family already has a baby girl and a dog who happens to be a female. My wife is also a female.  It's 2016 and I feel that is the politically right thing to declare in our modern society.

So this morning, I have my coffee and try to basically waste time so my brain could stay in autopilot until the meeting with the Doctor. I managed to do make it through the morning. Load up the car which is a rant for another day because loading up your car when you have a wife and baby is a beast of an operation. I have my wife drive because I find that to be a sneaky power move while I chill on my phone looking at strangers random thoughts on twitter. We get all the way to the battle arena which is the Doctors office which is an accomplishment within itself. I have my head on a god damn swivel whenever I'm at a Doctor office for news regarding anything about a human that I will be responsible for.

This Doctor rolls in and does his tests. He then turns to us and calmly states, "Whelp, not gonna find our the gender today, Looks like we will find out on the 28th". Takes a peek at me like he just didn't shatter my delicate brain and jots down some fake Doctor notes.

I calmly lose it. I start yelling at everyone in the room and maturely relay that I'm not pleased with finding out nothing. This isn't an inconclusive fumble we are talking about here.

The Doctor then tries to professionally rationalize with me of what I'd like to do about the non news. I then said we will wait this baby out and wait until it wants to revel its gender parts to us when it repositions. He thought I might wait it out as waiting to the 28th. I then explained like, Lets just bunker down here with everyone and the machines until this thing wakes up. You can't have a 19 week old tadpole with arms pulling the first power move on you as a father. So, I calmly suggest that I call in a bunch of food and play the waiting game with this baby.

Everyone laughed at me until they realized I was being dead serious. My wife then asked if I could just go and wait in the waiting room because I was being ridiculous.

So, I sat in the waiting room like a chump with no news.


Now this baby basically owns my brain ever more and all I can do is complain/kinda tip my cap to this fucking baby.



P.S. - 1000% it's a girl because I believe in Karma.

Bill Simmons Twitter Murdered

Yahoo Sports - Announcers don’t necessarily have easy jobs. At least, it’s not easy to speak into a live microphone for three hours and have every single thing you say be second-guessed by millions of people who all think they can do your job better.

NBC’s Cris Collinsworth apparently reached his breaking point, at least when it came to hearing from Bill Simmons of HBO and The Ringer.

Simmons sometimes references Collinsworth, the longtime “Sunday Night Football” color commentator, on his podcasts, imitating his voice. Simmons has poked fun of Collinsworth talking about deflate-gate late in Super Bowl XLIX, when the New England Patriots were driving for the winning score. He has criticized Collinsworth and NBC play-by-play announcer Al Michaels (who has appeared multiple times on Simmons’ podcast) for supporting Roger Goodell.

On Sunday night, Simmons was on Collinsworth’s case about a comment he made on the Seattle Seahawks’ offensive line.

Because Simmons has said before that he likes the “SNF” crew and that he respects their work, that doesn’t seem too harsh. And maybe Collinsworth’s response could be viewed as a good-natured jab back, but Collinsworth got personal by referencing Simmons’ recently cancelled TV show, “Any Given Wednesday.”

Collinsworth deleted the tweet shortly after posting it, but of course it was saved in screen shots:

Rough week for Bill. First his terrible TV show mercifully got canned and then Collinsworth took that info and reverse tomahawk jammed it in your face. 

Nothing worse for us sports social media nerds to get flat out stabbed on twitter for all the nerds to see. Twitter streets are vicious. 

Bill needs to stop doing anything involving a camera. The guy is just not a TV guy. I was flat out shocked when HBO green lit this project. He is awkward every time he has been on TV. He makes me feel awkward when I watch him be awkward. Almost like a bad rapper trying to do a battle rap. It's a stay in your lane situation for Simmons. The guy is a hell of a writer. He is also a smart guy who knows the direction of sports media and its going away from his strength. 

His podcast is fine. I think its overrated because no one would listen/download it if it weren't for how much his name was previously promoted by ESPN. He would have zero podcast following If he produced the same show under a random fake name. I could produce the same show with better jokes with my old college buddies. But, that's half the battle with podcasts is the promoting aspect moreso than the content.

Also Collinsworth is a bum for deleting the tweet. Deleting a tweet that has obviously been screen grabbed already is such a stupid move. Makes it 100x worse and makes you look like a pussy.

PS- Bill has made so much money that it's impossible to feel bad for him on any level at all.

PPS- The guy has to stop playing the card that he is still just a Boston guy and tied into Boston. My man Bill has lived in LA for over a decade. LA is the polar opposite of Boston in every way.

Conor McGregor is the Perfect 2016 Sports Celebrity

Via ESPN.com -

NEW YORK -- It likely went down as the line of the night on Saturday at the UFC's historic debut at Madison Square Garden. But it might as well sum up Conor McGregor's entire career.

"I'd like to take a chance to apologize to ... absolutely nobody!" McGregor said, setting off a cacophony of noise -- both supportive and derisive -- inside the legendary arena.

I couldn't love Conor anymore than I currently do. He is a small Irish guy that is an elite athlete that can sell/talk trash better than he can throw a left cross. In today's sports environment most elite/popular athletes are very one dimensional on purpose or because they have a shitty personality. The best to ever do it and say it is clearly Muhammad Ali. He was a once in a generation athlete who basically invented the self promotion sales game. He was the best and everyone since him simply copies his model. 

Michael Jordan is clearly the best/popular athlete of my generation but it wasn't from MJ's personality. His marketability came from his insane athleticism and the monster of a game plan from Nike.

Conor is not like Muhammad. He isn't doing the "sales game" for social justice. He is doing it for straight cash/popularity/power. He is already a master because no matter how awesome he dominates in the ring, I will always be more interested in him when he gets a mic in his hand.

Granted, I am not an MMA guy. I wouldn't for a second watch some guy who is technically sound on the ground because that simply bores me. Any MMA hardos that argue that Conor isn't 100% sound MMA athlete can kick rocks. Who Cares. The guy is the funniest and smartest trash talker that brings non MMA fans to the television. 

It is really simple. The guy talks trash and is an entertainer who happens to also knock out the majority of guys he faces. Long live this motherfucker.

P.S. Say what you want about us Irish assholes. You can say we ain't that smart. You can say we are mostly short and pasty. But, don't call us a bad time. A drunk Irish based crowd is what sports atmospheres should always strive to be from an energy perspective. Maybe not from a security or law enforcement perspective but that's just semantics.